WORKSHOPS & RETREATS

Its no secret that the key to success in the late capitalist hellscape of the 2020’s lies in selling some kind of knowledge or experience to unsuspecting punters on instagram. If you’ve already maxed out your online offerings and are looking to really bring in the big bucks you’ll need a place to lure your unsuspecting clients for multi day, in person circles, workshops, retreats or brainwashing sessions. Whether you’re selling Neurogenic Mindfulness Meditation, 5G Qi Gong Cleanses or a Mycelial Adaptogenic Fasting Regime rest assured we’ve got you covered. Our dystopic teepee made by a certified crazy person from old industrial irrigation pipes is the perfect energetic center for all types of 21st century spiritual syncretism and/or charlatanry. We are more than happy to scale our offering in line with the pockets of your client base with ensuite boho chic chateau bedrooms for your well heeled tech bros and spiritual society dabblers, down to off grid canvas tents, cold ruins with an authentic squat like ambience and toilet holes in the forest for gutter punks and crunchy wooks.

As well as full service catering (adaptable to even the most demanding of gluten intolerant fruitarians) our staff also possess a large selection of wide brim hats, magic rocks and an infinite supply of cat skins should you require an appropriately attired assistant or two to level up your offering.